Growing

There are some prayers I pray very quietly, skipping words altogether, and only thinking the rest. These are prayers I know God hears (when does He ever not hear our prayers?!), ones He loves, ones I pray often yet appreciate only much, much later. They are prayers of growth, heart searching ones, lamps shining into the utmost corners of our hearts. My faith is huge when I pray these, I know God hears me even though a little bit of me wishes he'd choose to ignore as I am well aware that He's not going to send change by dropping it in my lap, but by sending me a situation, I am sure you know what I mean. If only I had this kind of faith when I am praying other prayers, ones for healing, direction, and wisdom.

Let me take you back a few weeks.
The day before we were due to leave for a sun-filled, bone-warming March Break family vacation, following three days of intense rainfall and snow melting, our worn out roof decided to give up life and leak, right into the master bedroom.

Let me take you about a year back.
We finally paid off debt, we were free, we never wanted to get back into such drudgery. For a year we lived comfortably, mostly playing catch up. A couple of months ago we finally arrived at a stage in life where we could begin saving. Saving for a roof, saving for future education, for retirement.
The roof to leak at this time, was simply put, bad timing. A year from now would have been much more convenient. But it wouldn't be so, thank GOD we have Him to turn to. My husband and I both put worries aside, deciding to do what we could, and expect God to pick up from there. We arranged for large, water sealing tarps, we checked into home insurance, and lined a slurry of contractors to give us repair quotes. I'd like to say God put a check in the mail to pay this horrific bill, but it would not be so. He must be up to something much grander.

Then today happens. Mountains of laundry awaited me, for the second day in a row, after an unfortunate head lice incident my daughters brought home from school. I was just about to tackle the last two loads when my washer stopped working.

I immediately went to God, after informing my husband, who didn't seem as discouraged as myself. Doubt and an issue with trust arose from the depth of my heart, and was brought to light. I felt angry, I wondered where in the world God was, why, with a roof needing repair, He would allow another repair or, worse, a large purchase to enter our lives. I tried calming myself, I continued to clean, I read a good book, then I decided to pray the unthinkable - "You fix the machine, God!"

I'd like to say He did. And I can.. After a few failed start up attempts during my angry moments with God, red lights faintly flickering but losing energy quicker than a pregnant woman walking up a flight of stairs, I gave the machine another shot, turning knobs in all directions (no, I did not hit or bang on the top of the machine, we all know this doesn't work!), slowly, suddenly, life began sputtering back into the machine. Red buttons flickered brightly, and I heard that beautiful sound of water gushing into the drum. Coincidence? I think not... Since I had prayed that very morning for God to show me corners of my heart in need of an upgrade.
And, just to top it all off, the previously broken buzzer works at the end of each cycle again, too. Not bad for a machine that's been dying for the past long while. I wonder if my clothes will come out whiter and brighter?

Day two for Sprouts: so much growth in just 24 hours, reminds a bit of my growth, too. The prayer of a righteous man avails much. Sometimes, it fixes washing machines.