Sleep can really work wonders some days. I think I had about 12 hours last night, if you count a couple in front of the TV. I say if you can't make a decision, sleep! Somehow our minds organize all those thoughts and we wake up the next day with new understanding. The outcome of all those hours of sleep is... that I am going to hold off until either January or September 2011 to head to school. It comes down to finances, and I think it is wise to go in with the tuition paid in full, as I don't want to pay off a student loan after I am finished. I want to start a business instead!
I must admit I felt quite discouraged, so much so that not even cooking made me feel better last night (thus the marathon of sleep). It felt horrible being in the kitchen, dicing and slicing away and trying to enjoy it. It oddly reminded of being on a bad date (this being before I met my husband, of course)! My passion was no where to be found. However, having made a decision lifts some of that weight, I can look to tomorrow and most certainly not give up on what I have started. I feel confident that I can use this "gift" God gave me (although I feel like I need to learn so much still to even call it a gift) in some way or another, even now, at home and in my writing. Then today I received an encouraging note from someone I have lost contact with over the years, telling me that she has found inspiration through what I do and that just puts my feet back on the ground. Why worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow will take care of itself. Do what you can TODAY, and give it your all. This is the path that will lead to that tomorrow!
I love Sprout... and I will continue to nourish it, no pun intended. My discouragement had nothing to do with Sprout, but the desire to take it to a higher level.
PS - thanks for listening...