I find myself in an old familiar spot... thinking about my future, trusting God with it, and wondering if or perhaps when I should go back to school. There is no doubt that family and raising kids is my number one priority, but I do wonder about 10 years down the road. The girls will be off to their own college or university studies - will it simply be too late for me to start then? Will I be too old to learn then? So I wonder, do I put the kids "aside" for a year, and make it happen for myself, and in return give them a much better future?
When I put all that noise away, thoughts that I have put to the back of my mind get a chance to voice themselves, and I know that I am hungry for more. Not just food, but knowledge. I love what I have going this year, but I realize it is "just" a filler, a hobby, something that keeps me busy and gives me a break from mommy thoughts and breaking up fights and teaching values. On the other hand, I felt like I have learned so much these past very few months, and I am thinking I should have done this years ago! It goes to show, if we want to learn, the opportunity is there, whether big or small. We never, ever need to sit around and let time go by. We have been given dreams, and I believe these dreams are in direct relation to our gifts/talents, so why not pursue them. And in the end become that person we were created to be.
So it's decision time! I am not sure if it's coincidence that the idea of college came back to mind last week, because when I checked for the registration deadline and saw that it is February the 2nd, I am reminded of how God seems to do things in my life. I used to see it as direction coming in at the very last minute, but have redirected that into direction coming at just the right time. At times like these when I just trust and know that I have heard right, and I jump in with both feet, things seem to fall into place all on their own -however knowing full well that God has had things worked out for me all along.
Do you remember that little song, "Trust and obey, for there's no other way...".