All too often as I pull the covers over my head at night and tuck myself in rather tightly, my mind decides to wake up and wander to all sorts of new, clear thoughts. This must be one of those mommy symptoms, since during a busy mommy day our minds belong to a variety of other places. My husband and I connect at least once or twice during a typical weekday of work, cleaning, and kids. He will often ask me what the plan is for the day, and I find myself scrambling for an exciting, busy sounding answer, because my day, after all, is exciting and busy. There's never a dull moment, that's for sure! But still my answer is the same, day after day - There's cleaning to do, kids to nurture, guide, and feed, the dog needs my attention, the yard can use a weeding, and the days ahead are to be planned. And so, my answer is, "Well, the usual!" Whilst I sometimes question myself, am I doing all I can do? Here comes mommy symptom number, hhm, well, who knows... there's just too many - Doing ten things at once, which we could probably do with our eyes closed and more often than not, don't put enough value on each individual task. To bring things into perspective, I allow myself to imagine what life would look and be like if I stopped doing what I do for a few days. Can you imagine? It takes a village to replace a mother's work.
But let me take you back to that special moment of tranquility, a moment we can't quite comprehend as wonderful while we are, ourselves, children - bedtime. For some it may be the morning shower, or perhaps reading a newspaper on the, um, you know what. For me, this is place is my bed. I am sure my plain white bedsheets, pillow cases and shams came out of a need for peace and serenity after a busy day of primary colors, excitement and chores. So as I lay there last night, listening to the crickets enjoying our grass grown too long, I decided I would embark on a journey I have long dreamed about. I want to write a book. And while it's not common for me to share intimate desires as this, for me, a closet dreamer, I have come to realize that while sometimes critics can bring about a sense of vulnerability, others can bring support and added insight.
My first book thoughts came to me, at bedtime even then, child-less and a young 16, at night when all was quiet. My point of view has changed over the years, from writing a cookbook to inspire College students to eat more than Twinkies and Kraft Dinner, to wishing I was a gourmet chef and coming up with all sorts of new concoctions, all the way to realizing how much I love Reality Reading, much like Reality TV, but without the commercials and fake spins that sell shows to more viewers. The problem with Closet Dreamers is that we don't allow ourselves to value our dreams much, we don't share them because we fear they lack importance. But if there is one thing I have learned from surfacing my thoughts, ideas and flops on this simple blog, it's that everyone has something they can do, something they can share, someone they can reach. And usually it's the smallest things that make the biggest impact.
I'm not sure how much I want to share about the actual premise of the book, however one thing's for sure, it will be that of a life's journey, one of taking little steps and following through with plans. It will involve my many, little passions - food, fun, family, and the environment.
Until then, you'll find me right here, photographing and blogging, and hopefully not stepping on anybody's toes.